Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Satan is a Jacktard...Who Wears Ugly Shoes

So yeah, you read that right...Satan is a jacktard, and yes, he does wear ugly shoes. So does Lady Gaga, but she can't be the devil because she totally paid for her dad's heart surgery. I feel quite certain the devil would not do that. On the flip side, I also heard that Shorty Long (or was it Denzel Washington?) says the devil wears a blue dress. Squirrel!

Anyway--where was I? Oh yes, Satan. Many of you know that in the last six months or so, I've resumed my spiritual walk. I'm totally not being a blowhard about it, but it's probably the thing I'm the proudest of in my life. And you know what? That's ok. There are so many other things I have to not be proud of that I think I can have this one. So neener.

In all seriousness, one thing I'm starting to see is that with revelation, your back is marked with a giant red "X". Maybe it's black. Who cares? The take-home point here is that you're marked. You are now a giant moving target...for Satan. Or Lady Gaga. I'm not sure.

Sorry. I'm being funny, and I think part of the reason is anxiety. Why? Because I'm talking about something that sparks fire and tempers everywhere: religion and spirituality. And also because some of the recent events that inspired me to write this blog have been unsettling. Such as? Did anyone hear about a certain car wreck that happened a couple of weeks ago? That happened just hours after a friend of mine prayed over me, just because he was moved to do so. Two days after that, a certain situation reemerged (I don't really care to go into the details). Things have happened in various places at various times over the past couple of weeks that have really made me stop and ask, "Am I worthy," "am I crazy" (relative and debatable), or "what's wrong with me" (don't answer that)--just to name a few. We all know I'm a present-day Stuart Smalley: "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me!!!" Besides, I can't get too mad about it, because it all makes a pretty great story and a current testament to how far I've come. I can't feel too shabby about that.

Right. Big Red "X". It seems like the stronger you start to become, the more things start to happen--good and bad. The tasks now left to you are a) know yourself well enough to know that a lot of those self-doubts are, in fact, false--or at the very least, planted by an outside stimulus in order to make you fall backward in your walk, and b) to know when that enemy wearing bad shoes is rearing his/her ugly head and doing the usual song-and-dance while they wear a bad costume.

Once you have that nailed down a little better, it's a little easier to overcome. Am I going to say you're totally golden? No, because I don't even know if that's true. I'm still working that out myself. But what I do know is that once you realize what's going on, you can shut it down a lot faster. Especially if that enemy is wearing ugly shoes. Because really--would you listen to someone who wears ugly shoes? I didn't think so.

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